God the Source

I am writing a thesis and in the process I have to read a lot about God by men and women who think much more deeply than I. One of the themes that continues to come up as I read is this understanding of God as the source of all things right and beautiful and good. That he is not simply beautiful but he is beauty — and all beauty comes from him and is merely a reflection (maybe just a shadow) of him.

God does not just do good things but he is good. Good is not just a part of him as if his character could ever be partitioned. But he is 100% good and 100% faithful and 100% just and 100% powerful and 100% sovereign and 100% all-knowing…you get the idea.

He knows and he is all-knowing. He loves and yet he is love itself (“God is love”). He acts justly because he is the very source of justice. And when he acts justly he is still love (100%). And when he loves he is still just (100%).

I guess this blows my mind because I am always tempted to compartmentalize Jesus. Look — there is Jesus acting compassionate as he touches the leper. Oh and there, there is all-knowing Jesus as he exposes the woman by the well. And turn the page — look at Jesus showing his wrath as he drives corruption out of the temple.

I tend to think of him as merely demonstrating acts of kindness or patience or holiness. But, it is not just that he does these things but that he is these things. He is the source. He is the originator. He is love, patience, kindness, goodness, beauty, holiness, justice, peace, power, knowledge…..all these things and more — all the time, all at the same time, always fully and completely.

One of the best things for the Soul

“One of the best things for the soul is to wait and one of the worst things is to force the issue.” [Evelyn Underhill]

Such is the story of my life. I do not like to wait and I am prone to force an issue.  To wait requires prayer and to not force an issue requires prayer. So, it seems the common-denominator here is prayer.

I long to live a life of prayer but I don’t really like the perceived passivity of it or how easily distracted I am in it. I like to see results rather quickly and I like to have conversations with persons I can see and hear and touch.

When I was in college, a group of us used to go to a small chapel that was open all night and we would pray. It was a beautiful building — just as you imagine a church should be, with ceilings pointing up to the heavens and all the fixtures carved from trees that joined those heavens to the earth.

When you went from the narthex into the chapel there was a beam with a verse about prayer etched deeply into its veins. I can’t remember the verse but I do remember the quote on the other side of the beam – the quote you saw when you exited the chapel — it said, “Prayer is work.” And isn’t it just like our heavenly Father to make our primary work a work that is so inspired by our weakness and our need — a need for intervention, a need to praise, a need to thank, a need to converse.

Interesting that it is a communal work — no one can pray alone even if they are humanly alone for they are always joining with the Trinity. And it is a relational work — a conversation. And it is not a new work but a work that began before there was a beginning — Jesus and the Father and the Spirit praying to one another! And it is a dependent work — we can’t even pray without his help. Romans 8:26 says, “…the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words…”

And it was the work of Jesus who left the crowds to commune with the Father and the Spirit in prayer. It was in prayer that Jesus was able to determine the will of the Father and could say that he only did what the Father told him to do and only said what the Father told him to say.

And prayer is still the work of Jesus today:

“…Jesus holds His priesthood permanently. Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to pray for them. For it was fitting for us to have such a high priest, holy, innocent, undefiled, separated from sinners and exalted above the heavens…” [Hebrews 7:24-26].

Deterred.

“Whether He speeds us up or slows us down, accepts our notions or sets them aside, gives us what we want or takes it away, gives us a useful job of work or puts us on the shelf — that serenity which is a fruit of the Spirit, a sign of God’s secret support, does not fail us.” [Evelyn Underhill, from “The Fruit of the Spirit”]

Sometimes I feel so deterred — slowed down, on the shelf. But this is His work. Even when it comes from the hand of man or unfortunate circumstances it is always His work. I think of Joseph — deterred, put on the shelf, slowed down, hindered, unheard (pits, prisons, wrongful accusations). Even in my reading this morning Paul tells the Romans how he longs to see them but he has been prevented so far. He doesn’t say what has prevented him — perhaps finances or work. But, ultimately it is the sovereign hand of God. So this deterrent, this hindrance, this delay, this unanswered prayer — is God’s good?

Joseph said it this way as he spoke to his brothers who had sold him into slavery: “…now it was not you who sent me here, but God … you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.”

They Fell Down

Matthew 2: They saw the child; they fell down; they worshiped Him.

Jesus – I see You. Full of grace. Full of truth. I see you coming to be with me. You pursue me. You know me. You come after me. You love me.

Jesus – I see You. Full of power. You heal. You feed. You know the beginning and the end. You command storms. And you command my story.

Jesus – I see You. Full of wisdom. You teach me. You call me away from self to salvation. You dismantle all that comes intuitively to me and you call me from greatness to service; from first to last; from programs to people; from grabbing to giving; from covetousness to contentment; from lying to truth; from striving to Sabbath; from scheming to trust; from wallowing to worship.

Jesus – I see You. And I see that You are so utterly other. There is no one like You. In Your very being You have always been and will be all that I long for – power, control, knowledge, prestige, preeminence, beauty, belonging, possessing and completeness. You lack nothing.

And yet….this is not what You lead with. You come draped in humility. It’s as if the list You give in the beatitudes is really about You.

You come poor in spirit – an infant born into a day-laborers home. You have no permanent place to lay your head. You seem more concerned to pray than to possess.

You mourn – You stand over Jerusalem and You weep over those who are harassed and helpless. You cry with friends when death appears to win. You are never at a distance but always near and with.

You hunger and You thirst – You enter into the fullness of humanity. You feel all that we feel and are tempted in every way. Even on the Cross these are Your words: “I thirst”.

You are merciful. We run from You and yet You run to us. You keep no record of wrong. Seventy times seven – You forgive.

You are pure in heart. You call children to come to You. You wash feet. You listen to women tell their stories. You come to serve, not to be served.

You are the ultimate peacemaker. You are the Son of God who knew no sin but became sin on our behalf to bring us to God. Peace.

You are persecuted – they cast insults, they crucify. You say not a word.

And truly, You are the light of the world. One day there will be no need for a sun or a moon – You will be the only necessary light. You illumine all things. You shine brighter than all the stars combined.

And we fall down. And we worship….You.

A True Conversation

Me: So, what do you say to someone who is losing their passion for ministry?

Sharlene: Are you losing your passion?

Me: Uh…maybe.

Sharlene: Oh, that’s good.

Me: What? How can that be good?

Sharlene: When you’re young you can get by on your own energy and the newness of the ministry – and that’s not a bad thing at that season of life. It is what it is: you’re learning, you’re figuring out who you are, you’re proving yourself, everything is new. But, now your passion for ministry is waning?

Me: Maybe. Yes.

Sharlene: That is good.

Me: Why is this good?

Sharlene: Because, now it has to be about Jesus…only Jesus.

What’s So Good About This Friday?

[Isaiah 52:13-53:9; Luke 22:66-23:56]

It’s Good Friday. That’s what my calendar says in a very small font, centered just so.

Good Friday: A strange title for a day that smelled of dirt and torn flesh and matted hair and blood. It’s an odd heading to commemorate the death of the most beautiful man who ever lived. But, it’s really only those who have smelt the death who know it to be good.

Many didn’t catch any wind of the crucifixion that day. Crucifixions were common then. Most people went about their business: they ran errands, they went to work, they talked to friends, they ate dinner and they smelled nothing.

Most of those close to the man smelled the death – perhaps even saw it – but they fled, they kept their distance. Few want to be near when another is slaughtered in such a gruesome manner. Few want to associate with what appears to be defeat. Few want to risk a similar demise. Few will wait to see if anything good appears.

What’s so good about this Friday? One must wait ‘till Sunday for the stench to disappear and the understanding to follow. But, few of us have the patience for waiting. We want to know now, or we don’t want to know at all.

But we are to wait, to be still, to take in the sight and the smell and the loneliness of the now empty cross and securely closed tomb.

What’s so good about this Friday?

Wait. Listen. Smell. See. Touch. Wait.

Prayer Eludes Me.

[Matthew 14:22-25; Mark 1:32-35]

Prayer often eludes me. So it fascinates me when I trip over accounts of Jesus – the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-in-control, all-God – praying.

Here’s what I saw this morning: Jesus dismisses the crowd and heads off to pray. Unlike Jesus, I dismiss my prayers and move on to the crowd. I am drawn to the crowd – to the activity and the buzz. Crowds (whether large or small) hold an unspoken and often unconscious hope for an experience of significance.

But, here is Jesus…praying. He gets up in the morning and goes to a “lonely spot” and he lingers in prayer. The translator calls it a “lonely spot” and I wonder if it was lonely to him? Or was it actually the least lonely place of his earthly existence?

When Jesus prays he’s re-convening with the Father and the Spirit. He’s bantering with those he’s known and been known by for all eternity. He’s dancing with those he’s danced with since before meadows and waterfalls and oceans and Alps. He’s with the One who finishes his sentences and anticipates his concerns.

Jesus went to the lonely spot to pull away from the loneliness. And certainly his life was marked with loneliness. How lonely to enter another world – that is really your world – and not be recognized. How lonely to know that you will never be fully known by your closest companions. How lonely to extend love with no guarantee of its return. How lonely to be misunderstood, misread, misinterpreted and just simply, missed.

I run to people hoping to be known, affirmed, pursued, explained, satisfied and not alone. But, Jesus leaves all those people to be in the one posture where he is most fully known.

Jesus goes to prayer to be with. In prayer he is with the One who knows. In prayer there is no convincing or justifying or explaining or performing. To pray to the Father is to be known by the all-knowing. It’s to be loved by love. It’s to be heard by the non-interrupting, always-attentive, forever-patient King.

I think Jesus knew something about crowds – that to be with them he needed time away from them. After meeting with the Father and the Spirit, the crowd becomes an object of love, a source of delight, a gift from the Giver or simply just a crowd and nothing more.

Why do we pray if God already knows? Why does God pray? Perhaps it’s more about being known than about knowing. For Jesus I imagine it was the most familiar place for him to be – he’d been doing this for all eternity. But, Jesus wasn’t only 100% God, he was also 100% man, and he needed guidance -  just like I do. And he needed to worship – just like I do. And he needed to unload all that was on his heart – just like I do. And he needed to listen to the voice of the Father and the Spirit whispering about love and grace and truth and beauty – just like I do. He needed to go to the lonely place that was anything but lonely – just like I do.

Psalm 42 – The God of My Life

“Like the deer that yearns for running streams; So my soul is yearning for You, my God. My soul is thirsting for God, the God of my life. When can I enter and see the face of God?”

The God of my life.

God – ruler, owner, creator, master, maker, all-knowing, all-loving, all-just, all-everywhere.

God – not just any God: God of Abraham; God of Isaac; God of Jacob; God of Joseph; God of me

God – not the God of fantasy but the God of reality; not the God who panders or pleads; not the God of mere ritual or religion.

God – the God of grace; the God of power; the God who is humble; the God who listens; the God who sees.

The God of me.

God – the God who comes down but does not bow down; the God who serves but does not surrender his sovereignty; the God who waits but does not waver.

God – God the Father: God-Almighty; God the adopter; God the leader; God the lover

God – God the Son: Jesus; Sacrifice and Sacrificer; Propitiator and Proclaimer; Revealer and Risen-One; Friend and Foundation; Cornerstone and Christ.

God – God the Holy Spirit: Indwelling; Comforting; Guiding; Empowering.

God – The God who is One; the God who is Three; the God who never leaves

The God of me.

The Assumption of Spirituality

“The assumption of spirituality is that

always God is doing something before I know it.

So the task is not to get God to do something I think needs to be done,

but to become aware of what God is doing

so that I can respond to it and participate and take delight in it.”

Eugene Peterson

Nine Words.

The Lord is my Shepherd

I shall not want.

There. There it is. Nine words.

Done. Enough said.

He is enough.